God's Heart for Marriage, Divorce and Restoration (part 2)

Church family: Divorce can be one of life’s most painful experiences, often following years of hardship and deep emotional struggle for spouses and their children. As a pastor, I have seen how complex and heartbreaking it can be to discern when divorce is biblically justified. Even after careful study of Scripture and related writings, the answer is rarely simple.

Last week, we began our discussion by recalling how Jesus affirmed marriage as a sacred covenant between one man and one woman, designed by God to last for life. We also noted that Jesus allowed divorce in cases of sexual immorality, though He did not command it (Ephesians 5:31; Genesis 2:24; Matthew 5:31–32; 19:3–9).

This week, we turn to Paul’s teaching that divorce may be permitted—though not required—when an unbelieving spouse abandons a believing spouse (1 Corinthians 7). Paul’s instruction must be understood considering Corinth’s culture and his pastoral aim to uphold both God’s design for marriage and the believer’s well-being. He distinguishes between two types of marriages: those where both spouses are Christians, and those where only one has come to faith.

Case 1: Both Spouses Are Christians
In 1 Corinthians 7:10–11, Paul echoes Jesus’ command that a Christian husband and wife must not divorce. Under Roman law, “separation” functioned as a quick, no‑fault civil divorce that automatically allowed remarriage. Paul, however, forbids believers from exploiting this secular system for unbiblical reasons.

Some believers in Corinth, influenced by asceticism, were divorcing for misguided spiritual motives. Asceticism emphasizes excessive self-denial and treats the body as something to be suppressed rather than disciplined. Those caught up in this mindset believed that abstaining from marital intimacy made them more holy, and some sought divorce to achieve that perceived purity. Paul firmly rejects this falsification, reminding them that marriage and physical intimacy are good gifts from God. If a Christian spouse does seek such a divorce, Paul insists that he or she must remain unmarried or be reconciled, since the covenant still stands before God.

Case 2: Mixed Believer–Unbeliever Marriages
Paul then addresses marriages where one spouse becomes a believer after marriage. He does not permit the believing partner to initiate divorce merely because the other remains an unbeliever. Instead, he highlights the sanctifying influence of the believing spouse, whose faith creates a “holy” environment that blesses both the unbelieving partner and their children, exposing them to God’s grace and truth.

However, if the unbelieving spouse chooses to separate or file for divorce, Paul writes that the believer is “not enslaved” (1 Corinthians 7:15). This means the Christian is no longer bound to preserve a covenant the other has rejected. Most biblical scholars understand this as a genuine covenant ending, freeing the deserted believer from marital obligations and therefore allowing remarriage to another believer.

Other Grounds for Divorce?
This is a sensitive question. We must exercise great caution in recognizing additional grounds for divorce, because expanding them too broadly risks undermining the permanence God intended for marriage. I personally believe that there are circumstances—particularly abuse—where the covenant has been so gravely violated that divorce may be justified before God. Each marriage needs to be dealt with on a case-by-case basis, applying biblical principles gently to gut-wrenching scenarios, avoiding a slippery slope where minor grievances justify divorce. We also should live out compassion for the vulnerable women and children in these marriages who we are called to protect. God’s Word reminds us that He is a God of truth and compassion. When deep sin such as adultery, abandonment or abuse shatters a covenant, His mercy provides both justice and a path forward. For those who have endured brokenness, there is still hope—because God restores, redeems, and brings new life to where it seems impossible for that new life to take root. Don't forget that in the struggles of divorce, God is merciful, gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.

See you Sunday, applying God’s Word to difficult circumstances with grace: Steve