God's Heart for Marriage, Divorce and Restoration (part 1)

Church family:
About 1 in 3 of our families at GCT have gone through the heartbreak of divorce. This isn't theory; it is our story. It's important to remember that divorce has significantly impacted the lives of many people in our church family. If you have been through divorce, please know or be reminded that you are loved fully. There are no scarlet letters here at GCT.

As a pastor, few subjects weigh heavier on my heart than marriage—and its heartbreak. I have walked beside couples in joyful covenant love, held trembling hands through abuse and betrayal, and witnessed God weave beauty from ashes.

As members of Christ’s church, we are called to thoughtfully address the complex issue of divorce. Despite studying scripture and examining many resources on marriage, divorce, and remarriage, it often remains difficult to determine precisely when divorce aligns with biblical principles. I still encounter uncertainty at times. Consider these scenarios:

• A spouse who stubbornly neglects or abuses the other spouse
• A spouse who persistently harms or abuses the children in any way
• A spouse who enjoys their ongoing, life-destroying substance abuse
• A spouse whose gambling habit drives the family into financial ruin
• A spouse engaging in persistent, unrepentant use of pornography

These situations highlight just a few of the real-life challenges in discerning what is biblically acceptable regarding divorce. Does Scripture say that these are grounds for divorce? When someone approaches you seeking guidance on whether they have biblical grounds for divorce, as Christians we are expected to provide a well-grounded biblical answer. Let’s figure this out together.

First, we must understand that marriage was created ideally as permanent. That was God’s original design. God created marriage as a lifelong covenant of deep companionship and joy between one man and one woman (Gen. 2:24; Eccl. 9:9). “What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matt. 19:6)—words Jesus echoed to elevate its permanence. Every believer should fiercely guard their marriage: flee temptation, communicate openly, forgive generously, seek help early. Countless “hopeless” unions God has gloriously redeemed through grace, counseling, and perseverance!

Second, let's admit that divorce is never necessary. Even in the most painful and challenging circumstances, God’s grace is available to bring healing, restoration, and hope to broken relationships. While some situations may feel utterly hopeless, and the wounds may run deep, it is important to remember that, through prayer, wise counsel, and the support of the church, marriages can be redeemed and renewed by the powerful hand of God.

Third, we need to acknowledge that divorce is occasionally permissible. In our broken world, sin sometimes shatters that bond irreparably. Jesus acknowledged this: divorce was permitted “on the grounds of sexual immorality” (Matthew 5:31-32). Not every divorce is sin—some reflect God’s justice and mercy, freeing victims to heal, protect children, and even remarry in the Lord. After a divorce, many times a husband or wife thrives in another joyful, fruitful marriage—proof that God restores beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3).

Fourth, let's trust that remarriage is an option for those whose divorce was on biblical grounds. While the pain of divorce can be deeply wounding, we can also celebrate God's ability to restore and renew lives, even after such hardship. When divorce has occurred for biblically permissible reasons, those affected can move forward with hope, trusting that God offers new beginnings—sometimes in the form of remarriage. This is not a second-class scenario but a testament to His grace and healing, as those who have walked through dark valleys may experience the joy of a new marriage covenant, one that honors God and brings companionship and blessing.

Among this GCT church community, we are called to walk alongside those who have endured divorce, offering love and support rather than judgment, and encouraging them to cling to the promise that God brings beauty from ashes and redemption to broken stories.
One more question, does this mean that sexual immorality is the only legitimate ground for divorce in any situation? In my opinion, the answer is no. I believe that Paul in 1 Corinthians 7, explicitly includes abandonment or desertion as a legitimate ground which also, most likely, includes spousal or child abuse. We will cover this next week.
 
See you Sunday, applying God’s Word to difficult issues of life: Steve